🔗 Share this article

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?